‘‘It’s just not working.“ With these words, Joshua flung his brush onto the paper so that the color squirted diagonally across his picture. His fellow students grinned as he stomped sullenly past them on his way to the coffee machine. There they were, magnificent, brilliant works of art all around him, and in the midst of them was his pitiful attempt to turn the assignment into a halfway worthy and interesting work of art.
For a year now he had studied at the Art Academy, and, until a couple of weeks ago, everything had been going well for him. However, recently, it seemed that all of his creativity had simply disappeared. It didn’t matter what he attempted, it just did not work. And slowly he didn’t know what else to do. With his coffee cup in hand, he stared outside toward the book bindery building that gradually disappeared as the sun set.
“Hello,“ said a familiar voice beside him suddenly. As he turned around, he looked at Sophie, who was in her first semester and with whom he had gotten acquainted in the past few weeks. Joshua considered her an extremely talented artist and loved all her works. Silently, they looked outside for a while.
“It’s going well for you, isn’t it?“, asked Sophie suddenly.
Joshua shrugged his shoulders. “No, not especially.“ He pointed with his head in the direction of the window. “Look at that. Soon it will be Christmas and it has not snowed once yet.“
Sophie laughed. She always acted so happy. How did she do that?
“Don’t always be so sullen and gloomy,“ she said quickly and disappeared back to her work station, just as suddenly as she come.
Sullen? He was certainly not sullen.
Joshua would have liked to blame his sleeplessness that night on all the coffee. He had to admit, however, that the trouble rested more with that one sentence that Sophie had spoken to him with that smile of hers. “Don’t be so sullen.“ Maybe she was right.
After he brooded for a couple of hours over the question and turned sleeplessly ov
er and over in bed, he finally got up, got dressed and got on his bike. He knew that Sophie never went to bed before 3 a.m. in her community flat and often stayed up with her friends and roommates. As Joshua stood before Sophie’s door, she seemed astonished amazed at his visit.“What brings you here?“ she asked him as they went to her room.
Joshua moved a mountain of sketches carefully to the side and sat down on the stool.
“Do you really think I’m sullen?“ he asked without beating around the bush.
Sophie laughed. “Yes, a little.“
He shook his head, deep in thought. “Perhaps a little bit right now, but just because it’s not going...“
Sophie grinned. “That has nothing to do with it. It shouldn’t,“ she said.
Joshua stared at her. “Really, how do you do that?” he blurted out suddenly.
“What do you mean? „
“Always so happy?“
Sophie laughed. “I think that you have perhaps not understood.“
And then Joshua asked her to explain what about it he had not understood.
Sophie laughed and replied that she could probably do that, but that it probably would take a little time.
Joshua didn’t see her for three days and he thought that she had forgotten her promise when, three nights after their chat, she stood outside his door.
She smiled. “Put on your jacket and come with me.“ Silently, they walked side by side through the dark city. It was cold, but it still had not snowed. Joshua was not sure whether it was coincidence or whether Sophie had planned it, but her steps were taking them to the Art Academy. Joshua stared at the dark building.
„In there hang all of your beautiful works of art,“ said Sophie. She stood still.
„And all of my bad ones,“ added Joshua. „I knew that you would say that.“
They walked slowly onward.
„And now?“
Sophie smiled. „Oh, Joshua, now just think about it.“
Joshua thought it over. Finally they stood in front of his house again. Sophie said good-bye and turned to go. Joshua stared at the door entrance without going in. He rolled it over and over in his mind and he came up with nothing...“Just think about it.“ Sophie had almost disappeared around the corner when he called, “Tell me. I don’t know what it means.“
She stood still and laughed and turned back around.
“One does not exist without the other. You would not have your good works without your bad ones. And it’s the same with happiness.“
And with that, she disappeared and left Joshua standing in the cold night air.During the next few days, Joshua thought a lot about that night. What Sophie had told him seemed to make sense, but was that everything? Was that her entire secret?
They worked at different times and quite some time passed before they saw each other again. Christmas was coming, and it was on a clear, ice-cold night that Sophie stood at Joshua’s door again.
„Am I bothering you?“ she asked as he invited her in. She saw that he was working on a sketch.
He shook his head. „No, I can use a break.“
„Good“. He couldn’t even slip into his jacket before she took him by the hand and pulled him outside and down the front steps.
“Look,“ she commanded and pointed upward. Joshua stared into the night sky and expected to see something out of the ordinary, but only a few stars twinkled.
“What am I supposed to see?“ he asked finally. It seemed a silly question.
“Imagine how big everything up there is and, in contrast, how little it is where we are standing right now. “
Joshua laughed.
“I mean it – seriously.“ And Joshua was not surprised that she turned to go.
“What... is that another puzzle?“ he called, but she seemed not to have heard him.
Three days later he met Sophie in the cafeteria. It was Christmas Eve and she sat down at his table.
“I’ve got it now ,“ he said in greeting. Sophie laughed at the pride in his voice.
“I should be careful not to take myself so seriously.“ He looked at her and expected some kind of a reaction, an agreeing nod or something of the sort.
“Am I right?“ he asked.
“You should know that yourself ,“ she replied. Joshua gradually gave up the thought of asking further or hoping that he would get an answer. But there was ONE question he did have to ask.
“That’s not all. There’s something more, isn’t there?“
She leaned over the table and whispered in his ear. “You still don’t understand the most important and the most simple thing.“
He looked at her questioningly and she laughed.
“That’s it? Happiness is merely a resolution? Isn’t there more to it?“ he finally asked in disbelief.
But Sophie had already stood up, heard his last words and laughed.
“That is it, Joshua. To be sure, that is whole story.“
And then she disappeared and left Joshua sitting deep in thought as he stared out the window.
And suddenly, as a telling and certain smile spread across his face, it began to snow.
Elisa
No reprint without permission 12/1/2008
This is a Christmas story with a special message, written by 18-year old Elisa, a student from Germany.
